i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
