you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
