i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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