Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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