Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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