Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
