I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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