Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
