If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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