spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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