i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
