Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Less talking, more tequila
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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