is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
