Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
