I can tuck mytits in my pants
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
