how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
