Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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