Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
