Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
