yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
