That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
