Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
