dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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