omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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