Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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