oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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