Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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