I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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