He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This is my gift to your gina
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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