the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
