He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
