I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
