I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
