Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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