wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
