Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
