So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
