Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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