Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
