Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
