and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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