so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i now understand why vodka
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
