she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
