yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
