well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am available for nakedness
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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