I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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