Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
