So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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