I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
