Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
