Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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