does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Randomize
