guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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