I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
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